The Gathering of the Seven
by Fredde
Summary: Seven Final Fantasy villains gather to discuss things. But one is not like the others... Contains characters from Final Fantasy I to VII.


**The Gathering of the Seven**  
The place: A room. It seems to be fairly small, and circular. The roof is not visible, and because of the darkness it's impossible to tell how far up it is. The room itself looks like it was carved out of the solid rock, with rough walls. The floor, though, is flat and tidy, polished so that it looks a bit like marble. In the middle there is a wooden table in the shape of a ring. In the middle of the table there is a pit that looks fairly deep, filled with flame that lights up the room with flickering light, casting many odd shadows on the walls. Around the table is seven wooden chairs, fairly unremarkable ones. If you were one of much imagination, you'd probably think this was the meeting-room for sinister beings, a place where dark plots are hatched. You'd be right.

Then there is the door. It's made of thick wood, with a metal lock and handle. It looks like it could hold out against some very rough treatment, but it has not been treated in such a way. Yet. And now, there comes a sound from the other side of the door, the unmistakable sound of a key being turned in the lock. Then the handle is pushed down, and the door swings inward.

The three people who enter are all wearing plate armour of various kinds, with helmets that obscure their faces. First, there is one in grey armour, a pair of long, pointed horns sticking out of his helmet, and a purple cloak on his back. From the slit in his helmet shines two red eyes, like orbs of blood. Indeed, he looks frightening, but he pales in comparison to those who come next.

The next one is wearing dark blue armour, with two horns, shorter than the first one's, sticking out of the sides of his helmet, and one smaller sticking out of its top. There are horns on his shoulder-plates as well. The armour has gold trimmings. He is wearing a cape of dark blue, even darker than his armour, and with a golden line at its bottom. From the slit in the helmet, smaller than the first one's, shines two green eyes, like crystals of disease. Indeed, he looks frightening, but he pales in comparison to the man that comes next.

The third one is wearing light blue armour, with a curious formation of horns on the top of his helmet, two large golden horns on his shoulders and two smaller, dark blue horns on his elbows. The armour has gold trimmings. He is wearing a light blue cape and an elaborately decorated skirt that reaches down to his feet, and carries several small trinkets around his waist. The slit in his helmet is so tight that no eyes are visible.

The three people are apparently arguing among themselves as they enter the room, expressing with their body languages that which can't be deducted from their faces.

"Look, Garland" says the one in dark blue armour to the one in grey armour, "You've got to have a better plan than that. The heroes didn't understand, your underlings didn't understand it, I don't understand it. Heck, I'm not even sure _you_ understand it."

"Oh, ha ha ha, Golbez" replies the grey-armoured man called Garland. "Just because it's a complicated plan doesn't mean it's a bad plan. I've made myself immortal through time-travel, you dolt!"

"You really should stay away from time-travel" says the light blue-armoured man. "Just take over the world with power and force, that's what I say. Then you can destroy it at your own leisure."

"Well, unlike you, Exdeath", replies Garland, "_Some_ of us actually want to _control_ the world, not destroy it."

Garland, Golbez and Exdeath are now sitting down. Golbez is sitting with two chairs between him and Garland, and Exdeath is sitting right next to Golbez. They are about to continue their argument when three other people arrive. These people don't have their faces obscured by helmets, however.

The first one is wearing an elaborate, almost insect-like, yellow and purple armour. His face is pale and androgynous, with horns that seem to be sticking out from the side of his head. In his right hand he carries a staff, as elaborate and insect-like as his armour. His expression is calm and controlled, the expression of one used to be in charge.

The next one is blue-skinned wearing a blue cape, baggy orange pants and red slippers. His upper body is bare. His face seems to be contracted into an eternal grin, with two long fangs. His eyes are pupiless and red, seeming to stare at nothing in particular. Like the first one, he too carries a staff a much simpler one with a small golden decoration at the top of it.

The third one is perhaps the oddest-looking one of all the six people gathered in the room. His clothes are outrageously coloured in red and blue and yellow, and his face is covered in white makeup, with red lips and yellow hair. You'd almost think he was a clown if not for the sinister expression of utter disdain and hatred on his face. The other people in the room tries to avoid looking at him, and when he sits down next to Exdeath, the armoured man looks mightily uncomfortable.

The man in the insect-like armour sits himself next to Garland, and the blue-skinned, bare-chested one sits between Golbez and the insect-armoured one.

"Well hell-_oo_, pretty-boy" says Garland to the man sitting next to him. "How can you be the Emperor of Paramecia if you dress yourself up like a girl?"

"Ah, shaddup, Garland" says the blue-skinned man. "We who are like gods can look however we want. Cripes, who wears plate-armour anymore?"

"I do, Zande" replies Exdeath. "And I'm quite proud of it, if I may say so."

"Gentlemen!" exclaims the man in clown makeup. The others fall silent immediately, except for Garland.

"And don't get me started on you, Kefka. Strutting around like you own the place, I'm right old tired of it. Anyways, when're we going to start? We're all here, aren't we?"

"One chair is still empty" says Golbez.

"But who…"

A hand sticks out from the door and drops a small flask on the ground. The fluid inside it bursts into flame as soon as it hits the ground. The flames grow quite high. Then, seventh person enters.

He moves slowly, walking through the flame with no harm coming to him. He has long white hair, and his eyes are light blue. He is wearing a black robe over black clothes. The coat is unbuttoned at the top, revealing his chest. The only part of his body that is armoured is his shoulders.

The others stares at him in shocked silence, except for Kefka, whose expression remains indifferent. Finally, Garland manages to speak.

"Who… who the _hell_ invited Sephiroth!"

"Now, you be nice to him", commands Golbez. But Garland's having none of it.

"No, I'm _not_ gonna be nice to that… that… I mean, the Emperor looks positively _manly_ next to this guy!"

"…Summon the devil himself on your stupid horned helmet" mutters the Emperor.

"Look, he has as much right to be here as anyone of us" says Golbez. "We're not going to treat him differently just because he's… uh…"

"Just because I'm what?" asks Sephiroth coldly as he takes his chair.

"Well, we all know you're… that is…" says Zande.

"I'm what?"

There is an embarrassed silence. Then Sephiroth slowly realises what the others are suggesting.

"Wait, do you think I'm… That I am… _gay?_"

"Well, uh…" coughs Exdeath. "Aren't you?"

"No! I'm not… what…" splutters Sephiroth. "Who _told_ you that!"

"Look, we've all seen the pictures", says the Emperor.

"_What_ pictures!"

"Y'know… the ones where you and that spiky-haired guy is… uh…"

"What in Jenova's name are you talking about!"

"Well, we thought that you had seen…" says the Emperor and pulls out a thick book. "…that you had seen this."

Sephiroth snatches the book and leaf through the pages. Slowly, his eyes grow larger, and he starts to mutter as he looks at the vivid pictures. "That's not… you can't… but how…" Finally, he throws the book into the pit of fire in the centre of the room with disgust on his face.

"Hey, that's my book!" protests the Emperor. The others give him some funny looks. "For… uh… research."

"See anything you like?" chuckles Garland at Sephiroth.

"Shut up, Garland!" shouts Golbez. "Why do you have to be so damn _mean_ all the time?"

"I'm a villain, I'm _supposed_ to be mean!"

"So, uh…" says Exdeath. "So you're not…"

"I don't know who drew those pictures, but I'm seriously considering sticking my sword in them."

"Hehe… sticking his sword in them…" says Garland.

"_I'm not gay!_ Look, can we get to the point of this meeting?"

Kefka, who has sat silent and looked at the other people at the table with amusement ever since Sephiroth entered the room, holds up his hand.

"Right, if that's all over…"

"But I sure am going to come back to it" interrupts Garland.

"_If that's all over_…" says Kefka angrily and gives Garland a look that could destroy cities, and actually has now and then. "… I'd like to declare this meeting opened. We're here to discuss the unification of our forces against those insipid heroes…" The last word is pronounced with quite some disgust. "…so that we may once and for all take over our various worlds and rule them with iron fists."

"Or destroy them" says Exdeath.

"Right, or destroy them. Anyway, even though some of you have apparently made each others acquaintance before we got here, I'd suggest that we go around the table and introduce ourselves. Garland, you start."

"Yeah, I'm Garland. I've struck a deal the four Fiends of the Elements, wreaked havoc on the world by disrupting the same elements, turned the Sky Warriors into bats and bent time to make myself immortal."

The others nod. Then the Emperor continues.

"I'm the Emperor of Paramecia, I rule over almost my whole world with an iron fist, destroying cities that oppose me, corrupting those who think they can defeat me and striking a deal with the devil himself to make me immortal."

The others nod. Then Zande continues.

"I'm Zande, and I've sunk a whole world beneath the sea, summoned the Dark Cloud and… well, that's it. Hrmh."

The others nod. Then Golbez continues.

"I'm Golbez, and I rule the four Emperors of the elements. I've corrupted the kingdom of Baron and used any means necessary to find the eight crystals for my master, Zemus."

The others nod, except Garland. "Hang on" he says. "Didn't you become a good guy?"

Golbez laugh. "Heh, that's what _they_ think."

The other villains chuckle as well, and then Exdeath continues.

"I'm Exdeath. I live to destroy everything, including myself, and I let nothing stand in my way. I've killed, destroyed, and kicked a turtle onto his back."

The others chuckle once more, and then Kefka continues.

"I'm Kefka. I've poisoned and burned cities, made children orphans, slaughtered Espers, backstabbed honest men, betrayed my leader, unleashed monsters, destroyed my world and then ruled over its ruins with divine might."

The others give Kefka an impressed look. The Sephiroth continues.

"I'm Sephiroth. I… uh… burned down this one town, and… uh… I killed a girl once. And a guy, who was president. And a big snake. A _really_ big snake. Oh! And I summoned this big, world-destroying meteor that… uh… well, it did destroy _one_ city…"

There is another embarrassed silence.

"Sephiroth" says Garland. "You suck."

"_Shut up_, Garland!" says Golbez. "Let the man finish!"

"I'm… I am finished", says Sephiroth sheepishly.

More silence.

"Look" says Kefka. "It's not that we don't think you're evil. I mean, burning down a city? That's evil. I think we can all agree that's evil, right?"

The others nod.

"And I think I've heard about when you killed that girl. Stabbed her in the back with your sword, right? Yeah, I heard it gave that spiky-haired guy that you… I mean that you _didn't_… Well, it caused him a lot of emotional trouble."

Sephiroth shines up. "Oh, yeah! And that's not the end of it! I tortured his mind all the time! I…"

"Yes" interrupts Kefka. "Yes, that's… those are all really evil things to do, of course. But you have to understand… if we compare… I mean…"

"The point is", says Garland, "that you suck. And we can probably get along pretty fine without you."

"Damnit, Garland…"

Sephiroth stands up. He's shaking, and his lower lip is twitching. "You… you know what? Screw you guys! I don't need you! I've got fans! I've got lots of fans!"

"That draw pictures of you and the spiky-haired guy?" asks Garland.

"Shut up! Shut up, all of you! I'm… I'm going to tell mom about you! Yeah, Jenova's going to wipe you guys out when she hears about this! I… I've got a lot of nice friendly fans! But nobody remembers _you!_ You're all a bunch of has-beens! I… I…"

By now, tears are running down Sephiroth's face. He runs for the door, throws it open and keeps running, while sobbing and shouting.

"Mommeee! They're… they're not being nice to meeeee!"

Garland, who is sitting closest to the door, gets up and closes it. Golbez is glaring at him angrily. The Emperor is looking at the closed door. Zande pretends that he's studying his staff. Exdeath is holding his hand on his helmet, as if trying to stifle a laugh. And Kefka is clenching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger, shaking his head slowly. Finally, he speaks.

"Well, I guess that could've gone better. But I think we can all agree that we're better off without him, right?"

The others nod.


End file.
